Tag: women

26 Days

26 Days

Apologies, friends and families, for my absence! I promised I would post every day, but the past couple days has been unexpectedly difficult. On Wednesday, I had a cortisone injection in my right hip at my pain management clinic. My right hip has always been a painful area when I have active endometriosis, so I ‘m hopeful that it will decrease the pain until the upcoming surgeries!

I knew that it wouldn’t a great experience for me since I hate needles so much (and it involved 9 needle pricks within about 5 minutes), but I didn’t expect my leg to be so sore for several days. Wednesday and Thursday night, I couldn’t sleep very well due to tossing and turning because my hip and knee were so painful and I couldn’t ever get comfortable. Friday and Saturday, my calf was completely locked up due to limping and overcompensating to protect my hip. I’ve wanted to cut my leg off since the injection!

But the pain has decreased each day, and I’m very hopeful that, in time, it will help with the pain and inflammation caused by endo in that hip until the surgeries.

I also got two blessings the past couple days; mail from two of my favorite sisters! The first sent me a card and what sounds like a great book, which was really thoughtful since it’s a book she read, loved, and suggested to me. The second package, which came from a dear chronic illness sister, contained an incredibly sweet card, a gorgeous watercolor flower and handmade bookmarks composed of small drawings and quotes that have been important and poignant to her through her years of health issues, wrapped together with a little light green crocheted loop.

Both of these ladies cheered up my day immensely (and they also know me very well)! I am so grateful for their friendship and love. I ADORE getting mail, I will always devour books specifically suggested to me, I am always in need of a good bookmark, and I absolutely love something as personal as sharing quotes that were their strength in hard times. Nothing couldn’t be more precious and meaningful to me!

Thank you to both of these women; you know who you are, and I love you very much! God dispenses His love to us in several ways, and the two of you are part of the way He shares it with me ❤

It’s 11:11, and we are 49 minutes until it’s Day 25! Time for me to prepare for the coming week, which when it starts, will feel like a freight train bearing down until it has ended. I wish you a wonderful Monday, and all of God’s blessings!

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31 Days

31 Days

Today was a rough day, there’s no other way to say it. It started out with all the usual morning motions of shower, clothes, makeup, carpool, medicine, water, breakfast, tea, journaling my sleep, medicine, goals for the day, work, more water, more work, more pills. Everything was fine in my world; I was worn out, didn’t have much energy, but felt comfortable, stable, quietly hopeful.

And then the tail spin came. I was sitting at my desk in the walk-in clinic, when I was visited by a familiar sprite who causes my head to feel blurry, my eyes to stare at black, and my mouth to stop functioning. I messaged my clinical counterpart in walk-in and close friend that I was blacking out. She raced up to see what was happening and when I couldn’t speak clearly, she ran to call the provider we work for to come check on me. The nurse practitioner, along with two other female providers, sprinted through the clinic to reach me.

They laid me on the floor, monitored my blood pressure and pulse, and waited it out with me as the spots kept control of my vision, the fuzziness prevented me from speaking, and a couple tears rolled down to the carpet beneath me. The women surrounding me were one of my best friends and the greatest nurse I know, the nurse practitioner I work for, with whom I grow closer with by the day and adore to no end, the other nurse practitioner in the walk-in clinic (who is amazing as well), and a physician assistant who has become a friend, and is also the daughter of the couple in whose guest house Nick and I will be staying in Texas during my surgeries.

Once I was able to get to an exam table and take a few drinks of water, we talked through all my prescriptions, medical situations, upcoming appointments, and my surgeries. They gave me their worried love, wiped lipstick from my cheeks (that crap will get in weird places when you randomly faint and have to be lowered to the floor), and stood by me with the quiet strength that always emanates from them. They helped me talk through solutions and prescribed me to eat a sandwich and a cookie 😀 I was told to eat a cookie today, y’all!

As lighthearted as I just sounded, the event left me shaky throughout the rest of the day, and set my emotions spinning. Earlier that day, I felt in control, I knew the plan ahead for my health, I didn’t expect anything like that to happen to me today. But it did; I had no foresight to predict it, no power to stop it, no ability to withdraw from its grasp once it had begun. I was its prey, and there was no changing the course. It’s a hard reality for someone who works so hard to manage, take captive the symptoms that like to taunt me in order to maintain the feeling I associate with being “me”.

But as a daughter of Christ, I have experienced that there is one who is ALWAYS in control of what happens to me, and won’t ever let me go even in the midst of the worst chaos. And as the shock and fear wore off, the peace of Jesus and the strength of the women surrounding me propelled me forward, and held me together as I endured through the day. As the day continued and each patient came and went, I felt increasingly proud of the fact that I was still standing, still showing up to my life, still making a difference for each patient during their visit. In myself and in the women who surrounded me with such love and protection, I caught a glimpse of the Wonder Woman who, each day, is my own muse.

As I sit here in bed and mull over today, my first conclusion is that I am thankful for Jesus’ ever-near presence and comfort, and that He is the only one in control of my life and my health. The second is that I have never been more grateful and awestruck at the women that surround me every day at my job. I am inspired by them everyday, and I marvel at their presence in my life. They are strong, bold, smart, and loving, and they push me to be those things, too.

❤ Katie